Feeling Comfort in Self

There are all these currents that grow though life telling you what you want to be. They tell you to be something, aspire somewhere because we know the food for you, etc. All of these lead to others making decisions for you and you having no direction in who you are and where you want to go. However, at the end of the day you are the person leading life and you need to make the decisions on how you are going to lead it and if you do not have a clear Why or How to your life then other people will live your life for you.

I hit 33 today and as a reflection I took a lot of this year to study and understand where I am going and what I want to do. And as always what you want to DO and who you want to BE are most of the time at odds with each other. I wanted to be popular when I was a kid, but now realize that being popular is optimizing for the present but I wanted to build the future. Building the future and optimizing for the present require two different skillsets.

One is concerned about inventing and making things for the future that may make you look ridiculous now. The other takes what these people do and makes and spreads them now. I am not a popular kid. I am a hacker at heart. I like to build for the future and I am the best when building. I am the best when creating and thinking about the future. I am not very good at the present and sometimes forget that it exists because I want to dream of where to go.

Second is I am not a person who likes the limelight. I hate it. I am an introvert and like to be behind the scene and get things running and have other people be the face. I orchestrate but I am not the face.

So I have come to understand this about myself and will be taking on roles where I can fulfill these conditions. I want to continue pursuing the future and build things for that future. I want to have others be the face of the things I build.

It has taken me till 33 to realize I’m not cool. 😬 Hey better late than never right? However, I believe understanding yourself is a big part of how to be more efficient with what you want to DO. And what I want to do is outlined in my Master Plan.